Humor is tricky. Not everyone can do it, and you certainly are at a disadvantage in social settings if you don't get humor. Humor can get you through tense situations and of course we all love to laugh, but humor can also be weaponized and it's very insidious because it is hard to tell whether a joke is harmless or harmful and once you do understand, it's usually too late. There was and maybe still is a lot of humor used at the army band. You can't help but laugh when everyone is trying to perform a dignified ceremony and then all of a sudden it starts raining sideways into your face so that no one can see anything anymore. Humor can help when you are at the mercy of powers that are way out of your control, such as timelines that get pushed back 30 minutes for each officer that touches it so you end up with a report time of 3:30 am for a job at noon. Sometimes its just funny watching the officer leading the formation try to navigate horse poop in our path. "Hmmm, we're supposed to keep soldierly bearing. Is it more dignified to march through the poop or march around it?"
And then there are the practical jokers in the ranks of the band. They are legendary! There was one drummer who as a matter of course, carried a fake set of teeth and a fake turd with him in his uniform--ALWAYS. I saw him deploy the fake turd while we were waiting to fly out of National Airport, giggling like a stupid child to see someone react with a double-take; classic humor! And of course, the totally hilarious time he put it on his plate at a Chinese restaurant and then called the waiter over to say he "didn't ask for the poo-poo platter." Now, not everyone has these kinds of gifts, and the army band recognized that by bestowing the highest enlisted rank on this soldier. THIS IS NO JOKE.
Of course not everyone farted to liven things up on funerals, others were more refined using the most powerful weapon of humor: parody. All the cool kids in high school do it. Who doesn't love a good impersonation of someone? Actually, it's usually the very person who is being impersonated who doesn't love it. They usually have no sense of humor and need to lighten up! No one likes a wet blanket, you should smile more!
Those with the biting insults served with humor and sarcasm are beloved at the army band, mostly because no one wants to be on the other end of those pointed jabs. Have you witnessed this kind of humor, the kind that is really funny until you realize they are just bullying? It works best on people who are stupid enough to let on that they actually care about what they are doing. That is a real Achilles heel that is precision targeted by the malice of snark.
And this is where it gets professionally gruesome more than simply personally uncomfortable. Suddenly, you find you are in an environment that rewards those who don't care, who think everything is a joke, who take pride in undermining authority, who mock sincerity and responsibility. Those who have unfortunately become the butt of the joke are left angry, disillusioned and hurt. On a professional level, they leave their good intentions and best work at home and join the crowd trying to do the least to get by at work. This is the very definition of a dysfunctional work environment.
And it's very weird when you stop laughing after you've realized how fucked up it is, because it looks like everyone is still having a great time, laughing and joking and flicking each other's nut sacks, and you think there must be something wrong with you. You used to laugh. You used to join in. But now....It just doesn't seem funny any more and you wish people would grow up. And this attitude doesn't make you very popular. You are the person with a stick up their butt, the very one you made fun of when you thought everything was funny. And how would one fight that? I have no solution for you if you find yourself in that situation, but I can let you know to be on the lookout now for the sassy snarky funny man. Don't let him know that you are invested, don't show you care, don't even try because it will be seen as a weakness that, with god as my witness, he will exploit.
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